D is For Deadly Handsome Man
by InfernumEquinomin
Summary: EDIT: Song name was wrong T.T D in my Alphabet series. Iruka's going nuts, never getting enough sleep, getting constantly pranked, and he knows it's all Kakashi's fault. And that he'll never change. Kakashi however, just wants a little attention. KakaIru


D is Devil's Song-- Marcy Playground

Fandom: Naruto

Pairing: KakashiXIruka (*love* One pairing I'm not all upset is a canon. And seriously, if this song isn't Kakashi's theme then nothing is.)

Rant: Okay, so if I really wanted to write someone for this song, it'd be Lian, one of my OMCs, because honestly this song fits him so well, but I'm not even going to _start _trying to explain how he's a OC from the massive Godchild fic I've written but haven't posted so I'm doing this instead… It'd confuse too many people. But I bet my sister is gonna listen to the song and read this and be like "you moron! You shoulda done a one shot LianXJizabel or something!!!!" But I'm not. So there.

…

Maybe later… Like after I've posted my Godchild fic. Hell, it's even finished… It just happens to be conveniently located on a completely different and sadly internet challenged comp… damnit… Okay enough Rant.

Iruka was getting seriously irritated.

Kakashi was just… self-centered at best. Demonic at worst.

And even then, demonic might just be mid-range.

Iruka was currently wearing a uniform too small for him and his hair was down due to the fact that all his hair bands had been snapped and his alarm had been half and hour late so he hadn't had time to go and get a new pack on his way to work.

He'd get some at lunch.

But lunch was still hours away and the fact that he'd already snapped all his chalk in half didn't make him think that it was going to come any quicker.

Especially since his students kept asking him highly suggestive questions that children shouldn't even KNOW and he'd gone redder than Prince's corvette over twenty times now indicated something horrible he was positive he was going to get blamed for.

Why, dear god why, was Kakashi picking on him?

As far as he knew he hadn't done anything to get the jounin's wrath poured down upon him. And it was starting to test his sanity.

A knock on the door to his classroom and Iruka jumped, already tense and turned to the door.

"come in?" he asked and the door pushed inwards, Shizune smiling softly, if nervously.

"Iruka-chan, do you think I could talk to you a moment?" she asked and Iruka looked back at his classroom.

"behave, I'll only be a moment." he stated and followed her out.

As soon as the door closed though the chatter started behind him. He rolled his eyes, like he couldn't hear them?

"Iruka-chan, it's come to Lady Tsunade's attention that Kakashi-san has been… targeting you." Shizune said with a small, almost embarrassed smile. Iruka nodded a little and tugged his shirt down a little.

"yeah, at least I think it's him." he answered and she sighed.

"Lady Tsunade understands your position, Kakashi can be a little… immature when it comes to affection. Confrontation is advised, according to her." she offered and Iruka frowned.

"confrontation?" he asked and she patted his shoulder.

"don't worry, he's picking on you to test you, he's weird that way." she smiled a little and he sighed but nodded.

"well, he's not the first ninja to be called weird in our village…" he muttered and she laughed a little.

"nope, not even. After all, Lady Tsunade's a hemophiliac. If that's not strange, I don't know what is." she offered and Iruka nodded.

"I'll do something this afternoon, thank you Lady Shizune." he bowed a little and that seemed to fluster her immensely.

"oh, thank you for your time Iruka-chan!" she bowed as well and he smiled. Then she snapped and pulled a hair tie off her wrist. "it looked like it was irritating you."

"thanks. Have a good day." Iruka took it and tied his hair back as he opened the door and she shuffled off.

He watched all of his students quickly sit and zip their mouths and he smiled.

"clone jutsu quiz in front, front row first." he stated and there was a group groan as the first row stood and trudged down the steps to the front. Iruka sat and smiled as they each did their best try.

And he thought up suitable revenges for Kakashi. Then he realized how horrible he was at revenge and decided to just tell him to cut it out after school.

--

Kakashi was lazing in a tree, one leg hanging off the branch as he read. He smiled and quickly tucked another evil idea into his brain from his little joke book.

He felt a sudden presence just too late and he was yanked out of the tree, flipping backwards and landing on the ground a few feet from Iruka, looking highly agitated.

"stop it, just _stop _messing with me." Iruka stated and crossed his arms angrily. "it's _not _funny."

"aw, Iruka-chaaaaaaaaaan, I just want attention." Kakashi smiled at him from under his mask and Iruka shook with restrained anger.

"if you don't stop I'm going to hit you." Iruka stated seriously with restrained anger. Kakashi swooped over with barely a blur and smiled haughtily down at him.

"fine, have dinner with me instead." he stated and Iruka blinked at him. Then absolute confusion hit him.

"what?" he asked exasperatedly.

"I've been trying to get your attention for forever, have dinner with me." Kakashi repeated, looking like his answer didn't matter either way. The epitome of nonchalance.

For some reason that just royally pissed Iruka off.

"why on earth would I have dinner with someone who filled my showerhead with Jell-O?!" he yelled and Kakashi snorted and Iruka leveled a glare at him.

"s-sorry, that one was kind of funny." Kakashi stated and composed himself. Iruka's eyebrow was twitching again.

"no it wasn't! I was purple for weeks!" he yelled and Kakashi nodded.

"yeah but if that had happened to Kotetsu, you'd laugh." he stated sagely and Iruka bristled.

"no I--" he started and Kakashi covered his lips.

"would to." he stated and Iruka smacked him away.

"you're so damn irritating!" he declared and Kakashi chuckled.

"I can be nice too you know." he stated and earned a steely glare.

"prove it." Iruka demanded and Kakashi was silent a moment, eyebrow raised, then slowly crossed his arms and stood back on his heels.

"is that a challenge?" he asked and Iruka glared at him. Impossible. Completely impossible.

"yes. Yes it is." he declared and Kakashi patted his head, messing it up and making clumps of it come out of his ponytail.

"okay, I'll be sweeter than sugar." Kakashi winked then disappeared and Iruka felt like screaming at the universe.

--

Iruka woke up the next morning after a severe lack of actual sleep to the smell of pancakes.

He wandered through his house, noticing that all his things that had gone missing over the last few weeks were returned and into his kitchen where breakfast waited with a note.

While it creeped him out that Kakashi could break into his house so easily he was glad his stuff was back. Iruka sat at his table, his coffee hot and fixed the way he liked it (again, creepy, but still nice) and he gulped down a big mouthful after sticking his finger in to make sure it wasn't tainted with ink or something, and picked up the note.

_Day One, Enjoy the breakfast._

_--Kakashi_

Iruka frowned at the note, looked around his kitchen then crumpled it and tossed it over his shoulder as he ate.

--

Iruka was wearing his favorite uniform, the one that was about a half size larger than the other ones and therefore more comfortable, and it was freshly washed and smelled faintly of line drying.

All in all, he liked this much more than waking up to find frogs in his bathtub and dye in his hand soap dispensers.

He showed up to work before the ids, for the first time in a few weeks, and set all of his lessons up early before even Konohomaru arrived. He was always first because of how close he lived to the school, though sometimes the boy was later because he walked his friends to school.

Honestly, he was almost like a clone of Naruto. With the exception of him actually having friends.

Iruka frowned a little and made a mental note to interrupt Naruto's training for ramen sometimes this week while Kakashi wasn't terrorizing him and he had time.

His students filed in, talking amongst each other about various things until the bell rang out and Iruka turned to them, smiling widely.

"good morning!" he declared and they looked at each other worriedly then Iruka lifted an eyebrow and they quickly echoed his greeting, the worry eased out of them.

He frowned a little at that then decided that it was entirely possible they thought he was sick or something.

After all, the last few months had been nothing but bad moods and extra homework.

He turned back to his blackboard and started up their lesson, requesting homework first and making it a test.

Anyone who got caught putting their homework on his desk got ten points deducted.

There were smiles around the classroom all day and Iruka went to lunch proud. Only two students had gotten caught and that made him immensely happy.

He headed to the staff lounge as the kids broke off into groups for lunch in the classroom, and he walked in and Izumo was standing there stiffly.

"Izumo? You okay?" Iruka asked and Izumo jumped a little then held a lunch box out to him.

"this is yours." he stated, shuddering a little.

"Kakashi?" Iruka asked, looking in the box. Izumo nodded vigorously.

"he's gotten scary lately…" Izumo muttered and Iruka pulled a rice ball from the box, munching on it a little.

"hmm, I dunno, it's better than before." he mused and Izumo gave him a practically terrified look.

"no, no it isn't." he stated adamantly and started towards the door. Iruka frowned guiltily at his box and then turned.

"sorry!" he called out after Izumo, apologizing for Kakashi and himself both. After all, who knows what Kakashi threatened the poor guy with.

"thanks…" Izumo stated back with a small if still freaked out, smile and he left. Iruka looked down at the lunchbox and then shrugged and finished lunch in time for him to take the long way back to his classroom.

--

Iruka walked home feeling much better than he had in a while. He nearly bumped into Kakashi when he turned the corner to head up to his apartment.

"oh, sorry." he apologized and Kakashi looked up at him, his eyes bloodshot and dark with circles from not sleeping.

"yeah, sorry." Kakashi muttered distractedly before he realized it was him and straightened.

"hey, thanks for the lunch." Iruka smiled a little and Kakashi nodded.

"no problem…" Kakashi stated but Iruka could tell it was a lie.

All this extra effort was really taking it out of the poor guy.

"this is much better than the crap you were pulling before." Iruka said with a smile and Kakashi looked up hopefully.

"really? Well you wanna go to--" he started and Iruka lifted his bag.

"sorry, I've got papers to grade, and I'm pretty tired." he answered and the vein in Kakashi's eye looked ready to rupture.

"_you're_ tired?! I--" Kakashi stopped mid-rant and relaxed, kneading at his eyes. Iruka momentarily wondered where all the energy from pranking him went. "fine, maybe tomorrow."

"not tomorrow, I'm going out with Naruto then." Iruka answered and Kakashi's eye twitched as he nodded.

"Friday?" he asked and Iruka was about to say to the affirmative when he was hit with a realization. He considered the fact that as long as he could milk this super nice thing, he probably should.

"how about Next Friday?" Iruka asked and Kakashi's eyes widened then he slumped back into that nonchalant pose he'd adapted so easily.

"sure." he stated and Iruka inwardly chuckled with maliciousness.

After all, he spent so much time around Naruto, why shouldn't he pick up a few things?

And in all seriousness, one week of being pampered wasn't even close to paying back a whole month of terrorization…

--

It was wearing on Kakashi and he could tell. The people he normally associated with were stiffer and less talkative than normal and even Naruto seemed worried about his former sensei when Iruka talked to him.

Iruka feigned ignorance but inwardly was celebrating his revenge.

He made a few other plans to meet up with Naruto while he still had time and the week crawled by with sweet, sweet lethargy and Iruka had never been more well rested.

After all, he didn't have to clean the classroom or cook, or wash his own clothes.

It was like living with his aunt and uncle without the nagging.

And honestly, he loved every second of it. Even if his conscience rose up in rebellion every so often worrying about Kakashi's health.

According to the people in the mission office he'd moved down to accepting B-Rank missions and was surly and irritable every second he was in the mission office.

Iruka felt bad for them, but that didn't irritate his good mood as much as it probably should have.

Kakashi didn't actually show himself until the last day, which Iruka noted was void of breakfast, most likely because Kakashi was being lazy on his final day of servitude, and even then Iruka had to look for him.

He found him in that same tree, reading that stupid book he always carried around, or at least to his original suspicion but that proved false as Kakashi was really just asleep holding it, snoring softly and looking ready to fall out of the tree.

Honestly, he looked like hell.

Then all the guilt from the last week and a half hit Iruka and he couldn't just leave him up there where he could potentially fall out and brain himself on the ground below.

Iruka jumped up and scooped the surprisingly light man up into his arms and quickly headed back towards his apartment.

--

Kakashi woke up groggily and blinked at a ceiling which had grown familiar over the last week.

"no… bad dream…" he muttered and rolled over.

Then there was a wet cloth on his forehead and he peeked an eye open again to see Iruka looking sternly down at him.

He smiled.

"you're so cute." Kakashi grinned and Iruka rolled his eyes.

"you're sick." he stated bluntly and Kakashi sighed.

"I know, I read porn in front of kids, the school board already talked about it." he muttered and Iruka sighed himself, sticking a thermometer into his ear.

"no, I mean, physically, you have a fever." Iruka stated then frowned and nodded. "though yeah, that's pretty sick too."

Kakashi wiggled a little for the thermometer to be comfortable and Iruka removed it, waiting for the digital readout to beep.

"it's actually not always porn, I read other things, I just tend to be avoided and not bothered when it looks like porn…" he mumbled a little and Iruka frowned.

"What kind of other things?" he asked, sounding generally interested.

"usually vampire novels… but I read porn too." Kakashi admitted and Iruka scowled, standing up to walk off.

"and all the begrudging respect I just gained is gone again." he muttered and Kakashi grabbed his wrist.

"we still going on our date?" he asked and Iruka rolled his eyes.

"tomorrow, if you feel better." he stated and Kakashi sighed heavily, loosing Iruka's wrist.

"damnit…" he grumbled and Iruka looked down at him, arms slowly crossing.

"you're really trying aren't you?" he asked slowly, almost as if dreading an answer, and Kakashi nodded a little.

"yeah." he muttered and Iruka stared at him.

"huh. Go to sleep. I'll get some soup for you to eat later if you feel like it." he stated crisply then started from the room.

"thanks." Kakashi said softly and Iruka nodded.

"no problem." he answered and closed the door behind him.

--

Kakashi woke up feeling somewhat better and wandered to the kitchen where he founds Iruka hunched over a pile of student papers, dead asleep and wrapped in a thin blanket. Kakashi smiled a little and sat with him.

Maybe a cold from over exertion was worth being in Iruka's house ands watching him sleep.

Not that he hadn't already done that, it was just that this time he'd been invited first. Well, drug here from wherever it was he passed out, he couldn't remember. Kakashi reached for him and Iruka suddenly jolted upwards, looking around sharply then spotting Kakashi and relaxing.

"sorry…" he muttered, yawning a little and blinking away sleep. "I forgot you were here."

"yeah, I'm sneaky that way." Kakashi smirked and Iruka glanced over at him.

"I still can't believe that all your energy got sapped because you were doing nice things." Iruka stated with a small smirk of his own.

"I'm pure evil, doing good makes me sick." Kakashi answered and Iruka shrugged.

"too bad, I only go out with good guys." he stated and Kakashi gaped a second.

"hey!" he objected and Iruka laughed.

"kidding. Got you though." he smirked and Kakashi glared.

"fine, I may be evil, but you're malicious." he grumbled, coughing a little, stifling it with his arm.

"revenge was sweet while it lasted though." Iruka sighed a little and Kakashi glared a little.

"I'm going to take my payment out on your body…" Kakashi grumbled and Iruka smirked.

"just try Kakashi-sensei, just try."

End.

Good. Lord. This one took forever and a day to write… And personally I don't think it was so great…


End file.
